Welcome to My Life
by Yue Sai
Summary: Story inspired by the song, 'Welcome to My Life' by Simple Plan. Summaries are not my forte, so sorry about that. Warnings and better writing inside.


**A/N: Soo...it's been a while since I posted something for Harry Potter but I've started this like...maybe four months ago. I've lost track but I was looking through my files and found this incomplete. I don't know whether this will be a one-shot or not considering how long it took me just to finish this chapter. I might continue though since I do have a song list for the rest of the chapters but we'll see. I hope you enjoy the chapter nonetheless.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics or Harry Potter. Harry Potter belongs to the queen J.K. Rowling and the song to Simple Plan. I did not use the full song though since the song is really long and one stanza I didn't need and then the rest of the song that was cut out was repeated chorus. Lyrics are in bold.**

**Warnings: Child abuse**

Light filtered in the small room, awaking the little boy who lay underneath his covers. He didn't open his eyes, no not yet.

"I'm not here." he told himself softly. No, he was a normal boy in a normal family. He had a father who didn't drink. He was kind, gentle, and most of all, he was proud of his only son. His mother had a smile that could bathe the whole world with unconditional love. She had beautiful soft skin that people envied. It wasn't painted by bright purple-blue blotches of painful reminders of the night before. She did not cry in pain every night when his father got drunk. Most importantly, he was a normal child, a normal child who didn't have magic.

Magic, the word burned in his mouth with acidic hostility. He didn't understand what was so great about magic. His mother had told him it was a gift, but it had turned out to be a curse. Nothing good had come from it. If Magic was so great, why couldn't it change his abusive father? Why couldn't it make his mother happy? Why couldn't it fill the emptiness inside him that he so desperately needed to be filled? Magic was not great. Magic was nothing, meaningless to him.

A knock at the door had shattered his dreams and awakened him into his every day nightmare, "Severus, its morning."

To the sound his mother's trembling soft voice, his eyes opened. Alas, he was not a normal boy. He was Severus Tobias Snape, a little boy from Cokeworth, England. Reluctantly, he got up with a sigh. He picked up a dark shirt that was three sizes too big from his floor and carelessly threw it up over his head. Next was a pair of faded gray pants that needed a belt to keep from falling down.

Once the process of getting dressed was completed, he stood in front of his bedroom door. He did not want to step into the reality which was his life. The possibility of locking the door and staying in his room pulled heavily on him. Severus would gladly climb back to bed. Not because he was tired, but because his dreams were better than his entire existence of living.

Exhaling deeply, he finally opened the door leading him into a small dark hallway. He looked down the hallway to see his mother standing in the kitchen preparing something for him he hoped. The lights hadn't been turned on, suggesting that the bill hadn't been paid. And even if they had been paid, he wouldn't take the chances of disturbing his father by turning them on. They were off for a reason.

He walked into the kitchen to take a seat at the square aluminum table. His mother set forth a slice of bread with some peanut butter. The crust of the bread was flaky as the bread itself was hard as a rock. Severus ate it anyway, not knowing when would be the next time he would able to eat again. He looked over to see his father had passed out on the floor once again. A broken bottle that once contained alcohol was not far from his outstretched hands. Severus did not have to be told what had happened, he already knew.

Severus then diverted his eyes towards his mother sympathetically. He could see the elaborate new sets of bruises running up her arms. He knew his father must have kicked her in the stomach by the way she unsteadily walked over towards the table. When she took her seat across from him, she smiled with hope that her son would become more than what she had become. All Severus could do was half-heartedly return the smile even though there was a panging pain deep in his gut as if she had just struck him.

It was guilt that rose in him every time he saw his mother. He wished he could do something to stop his father from touching her, but he knew there wasn't. It was the number one reason why he had despised magic. It couldn't help him. No matter how much power Severus may have possessed, he'd always feel powerless.

"Good boy," her mother said noticing he had finished his piece of bread, "come on." she tried to push herself up from the table, but Severus was faster. He delicately stilled his mother's movements by the light touch of his hand on hers.

"Don't get up, I'll do it." without saying another word, he got up from the table with his plate. He set it in the overfilled sink of unclean dishes and then headed out the door to school. His home life wasn't the greatest, but school wasn't any better. Kids were cruel, especially to those who were different and Severus was abnormally different.

His dark hair was dull from going through days without washing it. The only chance he could was when the water bill had been paid, and that was rare. He was thin and frail from malnourishment, and lastly, he wasn't a star athlete. He had nothing that his peers would find interesting except magic, but Severus couldn't let them know about magic. They were muggles, and therefore they never understood him. Teachers described him to be troublesome as unexplainable things would occur often around him. Teachers and students shunned him, he was alone. Sometimes he wondered if there was a reason for him to live.

**Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place,  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you?**

He walked through the streets lined with dilapidated houses. Vulgar graffiti covered alleyways, done by people expressing themselves. When his school came into view, he cringed at the sight of it. It always reminded him of a prison. The perimeter was lined with an iron fence to keep trespasser out, even though Severus knew it was to keep the children from running away. The only difference was that a jail fence had barbwire and chicken wire, but they were pretty much the same.

A few of his peers were already standing outside the doors, waiting to be let inside. They paid no heed to him when he approached. He preferred it that way. He wouldn't have to deal with their inquisitive eyes. He found an empty area where he could read in peace.

Around him, he could hear their joyous laughter about something he wasn't a part of. He could hear their snickers and gossip they had on each other. Just from staying silent, he knew more things than anyone. Severus would get finished with one sentence from his book before his ears would catch another bit of information someone decided to slip. This had gone on until the school bell rang, allowing everyone inside the school to head to their first class.

Walking though the school, he felt as if he was a ghost. No one paid attention to him. Some would not even see him in the halls as they'd walk right into him and continue on as if nothing happened. He carried his things in his arms. He did not own a backpack, and didn't want to use a plastic bag like his mother had suggested.

He went to his classes and sat in the back of the room, again ignored by all. Even his teachers wouldn't take notice of him. He could have gotten up and jumped out the window and no one would notice he thought.

"Good morning class, please hand in your homework from last night." the teacher's voice droned through the air. Severus watched as a girl walked down the rows to collect the homework from her peers. Severus knew her well. Her name was Rose after the rosy cheeks she had when she was born. She would never shut-up about the story of her name. Today she wore her blonde hair in two braided big tails tied by a crystal blue ribbon. She wore navy blue jeans and a blue frilly top to match the obnoxious ribbons.

Severus got his out, but when she came to his desk, she jutted her chin out haughtily, passing his desk. Severus glowered at her back, but let it go. It wasn't like his history teacher was ever going to grade his paper. He crushed the paper in his hand, seething with anger. Severus threw the paper into the trash and opened his notebook he always kept with him. For the rest of the class he spent drawing the plants he saw growing on the window sill or outside He labeled their parts, their properties, and any other useful information he knew about them.

For some reason he took notice to plants. He did not know completely why. He thought maybe it was because they reminded him of himself or what he wished he could be. They start as a seed, trapped in a dark world underground. Then as they grow stronger, they break through, reaching towards the sun for warmth. They grew to be beautiful and bright. Although if he were a flower, Severus knew he would still be a dormant seed, buried underneath the scorching desert sand. There would be little hope for him to grow into something else.

"Mr. Snape, could you please enlighten the class what is so interesting outside the window?" Mrs. Harrison's voice broke through the invisible wall that separated Severus from the rest of the class. Suddenly all eyes were on him. It had been a while since anything like this had happened to him. Since when did they care?

"Nothing Professor," Severus answered meekly.

"Hey Snink, did you even take a shower for the past week?" asked one of the boys in the class. His cold blue eyes sparkled tauntingly at Severus. Then without missing a beat, his friends had joined in on the taunting.

"Snink stinks! Snink stinks! Snink stinks!" They all chanted, pounding their desks altogether in unison while the girls laughed.

"Quiet," Mrs. Harrison ordered, trying to get the class to settle down, but it was no use. Their vile words had sliced deeper than any knife could. Severus was frozen in his chair, not knowing where to run to. With each passing second, the chanting grew louder, digging deeper and deeper into him.

Suddenly the sound of temporary freedom had cut through the noise. As if Severus had been shocked with high electrical volts, he ran out of the room as quickly as he could. He did not stop when the Professor called his name to come back, nor did he stop to hear his peers laugh at his swift departure. He ran through the hallway swarmed with students switching classes, but he didn't stop.

His feet ended at his locker to get what he needed to leave, but the condition of his locker wasn't how he left it. His few textbooks and papers were strewn across the floor. He watched as students carelessly stepped right on them leaving the imprint of their sneakers, though that didn't anger him as much since it happened on a weekly basis. What did set him off was that his notebooks had been ripped apart. His drawings were nothing but pits of paper ruined with the words: FREAK, SNINK, LOSER, and many other profanities people could think of.

His eyes grew darker with revulsion, while his face grew warm. A fiery red hue spread across his face. The scorching heat seared through his body, making it feel as if was on fire. Severus' hands balled into trembling fists while his vision was blurred by unshed tears. Soon Severus was on fire.

Without a warning, the blaring fire alarm went off. The sprinklers turned on, raining water over him. With each drop, he could hear the sizzle it made when it struck his body. The water washed over him, washing the words away, his papers away, but it could never wash away the pain and hatred that drowned him. It killed the flames, but Severus was still very much alive. His tears were lost amongst the sprinklers.

Students ran past him, trying to get out of the building. Professors urgently tried to get everyone outside safely, but Severus paid no heed to them. He walked right past them, and they let him through. No one saw him; no one noticed him.

Severus walked right into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Without thinking, he turned on all the faucets, letting the water's roar fill the room. He turned on the dryers, letting their drone add to the faucets. Combined, the noise was overwhelming along with the noise of the fire alarm still going off. With everyone out of the building, and the chaotic noise in filling every space in the bathroom, he finally let it all out.

Severus let his pain out. He released years of suppressed anger out. His screams vibrated off the tiles. Tears streamed freely from his eyes. His whole body trembled, threatening to fall apart. His sobs raked his very being, his soul was ripping apart.

**Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you're screaming?**

Severus didn't know how many minutes passed, but eventually someone had knocked down the bathroom door as it was a firefighter who had responded to the fire alarm even though there was no fire. The man rushed in, turning off the faucets before the water over flowed over the rim of the basin.

"Are you alright?" the man walked up to Severus, but Severus didn't reply. His eyes were rimmed red from crying. His just heaved rapidly, still trying to regain his breath. When the firefighter had put a calming hand on his shoulder, it set him off, as he pulled away from the firefighter. Free from his grasp, Severus ran out of the bathroom, never turning around to see the bewildered face from the man. The other firefighters he ran past gave empathetic and worried faces, but they knew nothing. They didn't know anything about Severus.

**No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me**

No one stopped Severus as he sprinted home. His eyes stung from the saltiness of his tears, distorting his vision, but he didn't stop. People on the streets gave the small boy puzzled looks, but thought little of him once he was out of eyesight.

When Severus reached home, he realized it was a big mistake. His father was up. He couldn't run into his room like he planned, nor could his mother help him. She was on the ground motionless. Severus ran to her, lifting her face up to his. She was unconscious with crimson warm blood seeping from her hairline. Luckily he could still feel some air escaping from her slightly parted lips on his hand.

"Why are ye' 'ere boy?" his father slurred dangerously. His father wasn't completely drunk, but the way his large hand cupped the back of his head, Severus knew he was suffering from an enormous hangover. Hammers pounded from the inside of his skull unnerving him to insanity. He let out his annoyance and suffering on anyone that was around. The closest was Severus.

His father took one step towards him and Severus was quickly on his feet. He ran for his room, shutting the door behind him, but his father wasn't far behind. Before Severus could touch the lock, the door sprang open. His strength was no match for his father's. His father's hand reaches out, grabbing Severus' shirt to keep him from running away. Severus eventually capitulated to his father. Forgetting about the thought of escaping since he knew his beating was inevitable.

Severus tried hard not to let out a cry of pain knowing it would only make it worse. With one single punch to the jaw, Severus was down. He felt as though his jaw had been dislocated. Even though he was sprawled on the floor, his father didn't relent. He continued delivering several blows. Severus rolled into a fetal position, using his arms to protect his head and neck. Just when he thought it would never be over, his father backed away.

Through one swollen eye, he could barely make out the image of his father, walking haphazardly to the window, making sure no one saw. He swiftly drew the curtain and left the room with the loud slamming of the door. Severus' broken body was left in the eerie silence of the dark.

**To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No, you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life**

Severus focused on trying to breath. He had no more tears to bear. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't find the strength to. He heard the slamming of the front door and knew his father had left.

His fingers ran over his ribs, wincing when he got to the lowest ones. Severus' left eye was now forced shut by the deep purple swelling surrounding it. He tried to move, but every muscle in his body cried in protest. His muscles felt tensed. He felt bruised all over.

Severus inhaled deeply before forcing himself to stand up. His right leg quickly gave way causing him to plummet back towards the ground. Severus reached for anything to hold onto. His hand found purchase as he swiftly caught himself on the corner of his dresser, shifting all his weight on it. Severus slowly made his way back to his mother, gripping the walls for support. She had not moved from where he had left her. She was still motionless, but alive nonetheless but for how long Severus did not know. His muscles gave up as he collapsed beside his mother. He cradled her in his arms.

Severus' entire being trembled uncontrollably. What had he ever done to deserve this life? He shouldn't have to worry about his mother dying or whether his father would be drunk again. He was only just a boy. How much could a boy take? No, he shouldn't have to. Severus shouldn't have to live in fear, but yet every day he did.

There had to more in life than fear. Severus had seen people smile, heard their laughter, but he never felt their joy. He wished he had reason to join others in their exuberant lives as he watched them pass him though he knew they were just ignorant dreams. This was his life and it was time he accepted it.

**Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more  
Before your life is over?**

Severus was so deep in thought he had failed to notice the fluttering of his mother's eyes. She was starting to wake.

"Severus," her unsteady words stirred him from his thoughts, bringing him back to his wounded mother.

"Mum," Severus weakly called for her. She gave him a weak smile in return, but made no effort to move. She couldn't, so Severus kept his hold on her.

"Where's your father?"

"He's out; he can't hurt us right now." Severus answered, trying not to show the pain he felt.

His mother gently closed her eyes, exhaling deeply as if she had found peace for once. She then struggled to get up, leaning on Severus to steady herself despite the amount of agony Severus was in. She wouldn't allow herself to see her son hurt.

"Mum, you shouldn't be up." Severus admonished, trying to stop her from further harming herself.

"Let go, Severus," his mother swatted his hands off her, "your father will be home anytime soon. I have to get the place cleaned up."

"Why are you still with him?" Severus abruptly yelled at his mother. For a second she didn't know how to take it. Severus had never yelled at her before. He had never blamed her for his problems, but it was moments like these that made him question. His eyes were stone cold, freezing his mother in place.

"Why haven't you left him?" Severus screamed again at her with acidity burning her to her core. He knew he shouldn't yell at her, but he couldn't help himself. After years of abuse, the reasons why they were still at Cokeworth with his father baffled him. He didn't understand.

His mother looked down at her trembling hand, gripping to the aluminum table for support, "He… he loves me." she said more to herself than to Severus, "He loves us." she added more defiantly at Severus.

"No he doesn't."

With a loud resounding smack, Severus's neck was twisted to the side. His cheek stung from where she had hit him. He bit down on his lower lip to keep from crying out in pain, looking at her with as much rancor he had for his father. Her dark brown eyes were just as cruel. Without another word, Severus stormed out of the kitchen and straight into his room. He closed the door firmly behind him, locking the world he was born into out.

**Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding**

In the dark Severus sat, not thinking, not moving, just sitting. There was no point in dreaming anymore. There was no point in running. He was trapped in a world he despised and he could do nothing about it.

He glared at his blank walls until he heard the slamming of the front door. He knew his father was home by the heavy uneven footfalls that followed after.

"Welcome home." he heard his mother say to his father. He couldn't hear his response, but he was thankful for not hearing anything knocking over or breaking for that matter.

**No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me  
To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
**"Is dinner ready?" the man grumbled back, offering no hint of affection in return.

"Yes, of course." His mother responded, "Severus, dinner is ready."

Severus heavily sighed, unsteadily standing up from the floor. One of his eyes was still swollen shut as colorful angry bruises marred his skin. He knew he would be skipping a couple of days of school so no one would see the marks his father had given him. According to his mother, they were marks of pure love. Severus snorted at the thought. There was no love nor was there ever love.

He slowly walked down the hall to the kitchen, standing apprehensively at the doorway. His mother was setting down a plate of food in front of his father. It was rice and chicken, though when she set down his plate, it was very different. She had to give the best to her husband while she gave Severus beans. He couldn't complain though. He was starving. He sat down at the table, his father never acknowledge his presence.

"Dig in, Severus." his mother instructed, sitting down with a plate of rice and beans. He didn't need to be told twice as he ate his beans. They were hot on the outside but cold and hard on the inside meaning they weren't cooked all the way through. Severus shook the thought away. It was food and he should be grateful that they were partially cooked at all.

"How was school?" his mother tried to create conversation. She played her role as the doting mother in front of her husband. She tried to play out her fantasy of a loving family lifestyle. Severus didn't look up. He couldn't meet those dark viper eyes. There was no love in them as he knew she did not love him. He was just some tool she used in order to keep her husband. There was no other purpose for him other than that.

"It was fine." Severus finally answered.

"That's good." a superficial smile graced her features, "And you?" she fixed her eyes at the man across from her.

"Why the bloody hell would you care? I don't need you babying me." the table shook from his fist meeting the aluminum top.

" Of course not. I'm sorry I asked."

"Belay that lecherous tongue, who know who you've been doing behind me back."

"I would never—"

"I bet he's not even my seed!" the man pointed his thick finger at Severus, fuming.

'_I hope not.'_ Severus thought, but he dared not voice out his thought.

"Get out!" His father rose up from the table, grabbing Severus by the collar of his shirt. Severus tumbled over his feet, trying to keep up with the swift pace the other had. The front door was ripped open before he felt a harsh shove from behind his back. The door slammed behind him as he lay on the concrete. He made no movements of re-entering the dreaded place.

Instead he got on his feet, running as far away from the house as he could. He kept running until he got to the edge of town where the polluted river weaved through the earth. He collapsed at the edge, ignoring the toxic fumes entering his lungs. He breathed heavily, catching his breath. His dark eyes closed, suppressing the pained memories of his life in the deep crevices of his mind.

Severus leaned back upon the grass, receiving comfort from the smooth soft blades. For once he felt at peace. His breathing slowed and his eyes grew heavy. Some higher being took pity on the poor soul and granted the young boy sleep, taking his pain away temporarily for one night. Severus was free in his sleep, free from his body and world. Sleep was his escape and he slept until the morning sun rose in promise of a new day. His dark eyes opened to the sounds of someone's laughter. A little girl he supposed. He got up from his position, kneeling behind the bushes to see two girls around the same age as him on the other side.

One of them had dark mahogany hair as she adorned a violet dress, but her face was scrunched up condescendingly and her nose turned up as if she smelled something fowl. He didn't like her just by looking at her. She was like all the other girls he had come across, but the other one caught his eye. She had fiery long hair, trailing down her back and a smile that could warm any broken heart. Her laughter was music to his ears and her emerald green eyes sparkled with something in their own right. He couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but she captivated him. He knew there was something special to her.

"Petunia, don't be afraid, look." the green-eyed girl exclaimed. She held a headless stem between her thumb and forefinger. Out of thin air, petals started to bloom from the top of the stem until a full white daisy sat proudly on top of the green stem. She let it soar through the sky to her sister, but the girl only screamed and took several steps back.

"You're a freak! Stay away from me!" Petunia screeched. Turned around, running away from the scene, leaving her sister behind. Emerald eyes averted to the ground, pained by her own sister's words.

"I am not a freak." she all but whispered to herself, but Severus had caught the words. His obsidian eyes were large from shock. He didn't expect the red head to be magical as well. Something pulled at him when he saw the small tear that ran down her pale cheek. It felt like gravity, pulling at either sides of the earth. He stepped out from his hiding spot, cautiously approaching her.

"You're not a freak." his words sent her spinning. She looked at Severus questioningly, furiously wiping away her tears. She would not let a stranger see her cry.

"And you are?"

"I am like you. I am a wizard and you are a witch."

"A witch?"

"Yes a witch. There are more people like us so do not feel alone," Severus extended his hand out to her, "I'm Severus Snape."

A small genuine smile graced her lips as she shook his hand gently. Something ignited deep within his core from her touch. Her soft skin caressing his and he couldn't help but smile back. Little did he know that the spark he felt would grow into something much more, changing his life.

"I'm Lily, Lily Evans."

TBC...? (Not Sure)

**A/N: So that's it for now. Maybe a second chapter in another four months, we'll see. If you have any song recommendation you'd like to see, just say so in a review or PM but if I do continue the song planned so far for the next chapter is 'She is Love' by Parachute. Take care and thanks for reading!**


End file.
